tango, dressing up

I was thinking about certain spaces inspire us, or indicate that we are obligated, to change our appearance. We are all performing social role all of the time, but without realizing it. However certain spaces seem to require that we act in a different role, one that has unspoken rules about dress or codes of communication. The space of the tango, where it is practiced, has unspoken expectations about dress and behavior.

Monday night I was rushing out the door to go to a milonga near my house. Even to go to bar with people my age, if I were in a rush, I wouldn't change my clothes or put on make-up, but the milonga makes me think twice about my appearance. I am dressing for a show that I am playing a role in. I have always struggled with the role-playing. Sometimes it's intriguing, but sometimes I don't want to have to obsessively think about my appearance about beauty, about assuming an identity that fits into a location that can seem so distant from my state of mind. Tango can be this appealing beautiful relationship, a way of relating with others, but it can also be this awful milonga environment in which everybody looks everyone over three times over, and we all sit on the sides, while not dancing, talking about everyone who is out there, sometimes spilling their guts, in improvised corporal self-expression.